Wednesday, January 18, 2017
THE COUNCIL OF COMPLETE MUPPETS - INNOVATION & HOSPITAL FUNDING
THE COUNCIL OF MUPPET'S
WHAT A WEEK
IT GETS BETTER BY THE DAY
THE INNOVATION FUND
THE HOSPITAL FUNDING PROPOSITION
THE COUNCIL OF MUPPET'S CAST A DRIFT IN A STINKING MIRE OF THEIR OWN MAKING.
It all started with the Innovation Fund. You know the one. Just apply with a half backed plan of splitting the carrot. You then tell them it will put Jersey on the digital map or any old map - they lob some serious cash at you - and then you just do one.. Bingo. They can then tell their mates that Jersey is open for business. It's brilliant. CEO Mike King knows exactly when his cards are dealt. He goes all in with some voluntary redundancy or handing his notice in… Bingo. £70,000 in the old sky rocket ,£400,000 in the pension pot a Pina Colada with Bill Ogley and Mike Pollard down club Jersey Mug and preferably somewhere hot.
Then we have the Senator Ozouf must go campaign. Personally I think he had to go. Just the way it is. But it can't be that simple can it. The Council of Muppet's can't operate that way. We have to go through the extended Christmas pantomime season. The Chief Minister simply lost his Libido. All big words, huff and guff, not happy with this, not happy with that, I want answers, I will have an investigation into the report of the report about the report. Try to work up some anger that just doesn't come naturally to him and all we get is a lazy lob at the end of it. Just about sums it up.
Then Ladies and Gents we come to Tuesday the 17th January - The States day - The day of answers.. It didn't disappoint.
Up early on a cold brisk morning. I'm heading into the royal square to watch the demonstration. I don't really want to take part as such but there as an observer. Its so cold my balls are clanging like the swinging ball bearings you used to see in toy shops - hypnotic but pointless. I'm sticking this one out. All tucked in but wishing I still smoked for comfort. It's a little early, I reach for my phone, I flick to Facebook and BOOOOOOOOM the first explosion of the day. It's a Bunker Buster from the "Any kind of Reform" will do party. They have only taken a picture of a segment of Pip Ozouf's inauguration speech - I mean resignation speech - sorry I mean stepping aside speech. It's now off and running. Social Media being the new vehicle of instant news has given us the heads up before Philip has even been given his cue to perform…
The time is coming close. The crowds have gathered. Sean Power is trying to mount a bench in the Royal Square with all the grace of an old dog trying to cock his leg against a lamppost. The signs are being handed out and the first distant chants of 'Ozouf out' start to filter through. People start to look nervously at their watches and phones. News spreads like days gone by - crystal sets and occupation come to mind. Anyway, the baying crowd now head to the opposite bench in the square as it's a little closer to the States Building.
THEN IT ALL GOES SERIOUSLY PETE TONG
Around 1.30pm, with no sign of Pip anywhere we start to hear the news. He has gone - he has resigned - he has stepped aside - we all start to rejoice like its 1945 again.. The Royal Square was having one of its magical moments. The truth being that no one had a bloody clue what was going on. Deputy Macon appeared. I approached. I asked. "Deputy, WTF is going on?" "Not a clue came the reply" Then like a Domino affect the crowd started to ask the same questions. WTF has just happened. Nobody new. And still nobody really knows.
Then it went surreal
The door to the States Chamber swung open and everybody had the words Pip Ozouf on their lips went out came Deputy 'Wolfie Mezec' of the Jersey Tooting Popular Front of Reform Jersey.
He quick walked to the crowd like a returning champion. It was amazing. They cheered, he fist pumped. Not only that - he mounted that bench like the young stallion that he is. I saw Sean Power wipe a tear from his eye. You could see the pain. This kid is the business. He handled that Megaphone like it was a well oiled Colt 45 and boy didn't the bullets fly forth. I'm watching this opened mouthed then out of the corner of my eye I spot the elusive Deputy Tadeir.. He was poetry in motion. He waltzed his way around the crowd with his arm outstretched- shooting the young Wolfie with i phone 7s- it was incredible. He would not have looked out of place in a sequined suit on a Saturday night getting a 7 from Len. It was up online for all of tooting to go viral before Ozouf had written that letter. What a day. Well worth the cold… The media went home happy with their soundbites but in the meantime Philip Ozouf was still standing aside, resigning and taking a very long time to write that very simple letter to the Chief Minister..
Then we come to today..
We have just had a week of the Innovation Fund and the catastrophic failures that led to Senator Philip Ozouf resigning, stepping aside, writing a letter of resignation maybe wishing that it would all go away but hang on..
We now tumble headfirst into pure lunacy.
THE HOSPITAL FUNDING.
THESE COUNCIL OF MUPPET'S DON'T WANT SCRUTINY TO SCRUTINIES IT.
WHAT THE HELL
WE HAVE JUST HAD A FIASCO WITH 1.2 MILLION AND THEY DON'T WANT £500 MILLION TO BE CHECKED.
WHO IS BACKING SCRUTINY?
DEPUTY ANDREW LEWIS OF P.A.C?
"Plans to source funding for Jersey's new hospital faced a setback today, when it emerged the proposition being considered could be illegal.
The Treasury Minister was asking members to vote in favour of him to start sourcing the £400 million loan needed for the build.
Members first needed to vote on whether to allow a Scrutiny Panel to conduct a review of the plans before agreeing to the proposal - something the panel says is needed, to establishwhether the loan is the best way to fund the hospital.
During the debate, Deputy Tracey Vallois raised questions surrounding the legality of the Treasury Minister's request, saying that she was not sure whether he was in a position to ask States Members to approve a loan of that amount- as he is not supposed to ask to borrow more than last year's income."